Monday, April 20, 2009

Why I have been hiding...

Ok, now that I am past all the spring birthdays, I can make my confession.
I have the baby blues...it is silly I know, but that doesn't make it any less real.

I first started realizing in it Jan. The hardest part is coming to terms with the fact that Gabe and I are done having kids (unless God surprises us again). I know we are still young but we have 4 kids!! And we are busting at the seams as it is.

I cried ALOT the first few weeks when I realized that I would never again hold one of my babies for the first time, see them take their first step or hear them say their first word. My little Elle just turned 2, she is sooooo much the little toddler. Has it really been 2 years since I first held that precious chubby girl? It doesn't really seem possible...now she is running, climbing, singing, and way too busy for all my snuggles...
So as much as my heart is longing for a soft baby of my own, I will just have to make do with Jada's and Cassie's babies when they get here :)

That is my confession, my blah feeling explained, and why I have been hiding from my blog...some things are just hard to put into words...


*Warning* If you bring this subject up in person, I am very likely to cry...now you can't say I didn't warn you :)

2 comments:

Christine, Jason and Baby said...

(((Hugs))) I have only had one, but I am not so sure I will have any more. I get sad thinking that I may not be taking full advantage of some of those things too. Be sure to snuggle all those other babies extra bunches. :) Oh, and I am sure yours won't be leaving the house for a long time so you have that to look forward too. ehhe.... I know, doesn't help baby blues, but it is all I have to offer. You know how long I had the baby blues before I got my one. ;)

Heidi Kellems said...

HMMMM somehow I had the feeling that was part of your problem. I guess I know you better than I thought.

Love ya sis. Don't worry I have had those same thoughts at times but then I think of how much I enjoy sleep.