The Matthews Family

Good-bye Summer...Hello Fall

2011-08-04T10:32:00.001-07:00

Well it was fun while it lasted but our summer break is coming to an end. I LOVE summer, the warm sun, ice cream, huge chunks of watermelon, swimming, grilling out, picnics, playing at the park, laying in the grass under a big tree just relaxing... pretty much my favorite season :)
But then comes fall...and I love it ever more than summer! The warm air with the cool breeze, bonfires, cookouts, s'mores, and of course my favorite part..LEAVES!! I love raking a big pile of leaves and then jumping into it with the kids. Just thinking about fall makes me crazy happy :)

Good-bye Summer...Hello Fall

2011-08-04T10:32:00.000-07:00

Conversations At My House

2011-03-10T06:26:00.000-08:00

Just a few things from Sorsha and Elle that you might hear at my house on any given day :)

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Elle: Mom, do people know you have squishy belly or do they think you have a fat belly?
Me: I don't know...
Elle: I think they think you have a fat belly, that's why everyone laughs at you.

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Elle: Mommy, you're the best in the small world (she hold her hands together in a very small cup) but Daddy is the best in the much world (her hands are now as far apart as possible)

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Elle: Mommy, you can't wear that shirt, everyone will laugh at you

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Sorsha: Mommy I need you to take me shopping!
Me: What do you need?
Sorsha: A big fancy dress!
Me: Why??
Sorsha: For my wedding. I found Prince Charming and we are getting married in a castle with unicorns and fairies!

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Sorsha's dinner prayer: "God is very thankful, God is very thankful, for our food.. for our food. Sorsha-Fireworks up in the sky-Matthews, amen."

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Elle: Daddy what bed can me and Sorsha sleep in tonight?
Gabe: You sleep in your bed and Sorsha sleeps in her bed.
Elle: Did you just hear yourself?!?! That's so funny! (walks of laughing)

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Gabe: Elle, sit down and eat your food right now.
Elle: You eat YOUR food Daddy!!

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Elle: Mommy, you can't wear your jammies in the van, people will laugh at you

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Elle: Only 3 people in our house are chubby. Me, daddy and mommy :)

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Sorsha: I love you mommy, I absolutely do!

I blinked again

2011-03-02T11:36:00.000-08:00

4 years ago I wrote this post: http://the-matthews-family-blog.blogspot.com/2007/02/when-did-it-happen.html
And today as I celebrate Sorsha's 5th birthday, I realize I blinked again.
I have been asked why I have such a hard time with birthdays. It isn't because I don't want my kids to grow up. I love watching them grow up, it makes my heart swell with love and pride. I just wish it didn't happen so fast.
My days are so full of doctor appointments, dentist appointments, school, sport schedules, church, shopping ... and the list just keeps going...being a parent takes more hours in a day than I have.
By the time bedtime rolls around and they are all tucked into bed, sleeping soundly and I get to sit down on the couch a take a breathe, I can't help but wonder if I gave them all the attention I could.
Or did I say "go play" too many times so that I could do the dishes, laundry, and cleaning? Did I praise them for their little victories, did I hold them when they needed me, or was I too busy with everything else?
So on their birthday I sit back and look at my wonderful child, that I love more than life itself, and wonder if I have taken advantage of every moment with that child, or was I too busy to appriciate every blessing they gave me?
Sometimes I wish I could slow down time so that I could soak up every moment with them, so that next time I blink I would know I didn't miss a thing :)

Whoa...Slow Down!!

2010-08-27T11:35:00.000-07:00

Wow...I have been so busy since school started. I kinda thought life would be slightly calmer than this...oh well, maybe one day :)

Anakin and Stasia are loving school, they love their teachers and they are having a great time! We signed Anakin up for football again this year. After all the baseball/softball games and practices, Gabe and I were feeling pretty burned out on the whole sports scene. But Anakin really loves this and I would feel guilty if he missed out so I put aside my feelings and now we are ready for the football season :)
I also told him he gets to choose something for just me and him to do. He wants a mommy and boy night with dinner and a movie (as long as it's not Twilight lol) I can't wait for this night...hopefully it will be soon! I seriously have tears in my eyes just thinking about it!

Stasia of course is doing great! She is such a ball of positive energy! She is my right hand, always looking for ways to help out, has a great attitude, and is the sweetest kid I know! My favorite thing is watching/listening to her read to her younger sisters! (agh more tears) She is dyslexic and couldn't quite get reading until last year. In one school year she brought her reading grade lv up 3 levels! She went from barely reading at a kindergarten lv to being able to read at 3rd grade lv! 2 years ago she and I would spend almost every day in tears with her trying to read. And now she comes home and sits down with her sisters and reads to them! And of course they love it too :) I am soooooo proud of her!

Sorsha loves, loves, loves preschool and her teacher! She comes home full of stories and songs. She even has Elle singing the songs. She is so serious about her papers and art projects that she brings home. She makes sure her papers go in a safe spot where she can check on them whenever she wants and her art work is proudly hanging all over the house, where ever she feels it is showcased the best :)
She is so amazing to me. The questions she thinks up and her logic definitely keeps life entertaining for sure! :)

Elle and I have, for the first time ever, real mommy and baby time. I know she is 3 and that's not much of baby, but she is my baby :)
She is my squishy babydoll and I love every minute with her! She gives me snuggles and is pretty easy going when it is just her. She has this wild, crazy, silly side that I just love! She is so serious most of the time so it can surprise me when she does something so silly :) She is also the sassiest kid I have for sure. The things she will say...and oh boy, does she have the attitude to go with it. She makes my heart full and my life complete.

So my life is crazy busy, a bit stressful and slightly overwhelming at times, but when I have chance to sit back, take a deep breath (or short one, whatever I have time for :) I feel so blessed! I love my family and our crazy life together!

My Little Man and I

2010-08-09T06:00:00.000-07:00

Ok, so this post may not be the most happy post I have had in a while.
I love my little man so much but I feel like the worst parent 95% of the time at the end of my days with him. I don't know how to deal with the fact that the older he gets the farther apart we seem to be. I don't know how to get through to him and I am so frustrated right now. Is it because he is a boy and I only know how to relate to my girls, or is it more than that? Am I really just a terrible parent? I have told myself that everyone has these days but this is all the time! It can't be normal...can it? I feel so bad for him :(
He has always been the loner in the family and he just seem separated from us. He hates that he is the only boy. I am pretty sure he thinks I had 3 girls on purpose...really.
I know I have lots of friends out there who have wonderful relationships with their boys, please help me!!

This is how we're going out...

2010-08-06T16:09:00.000-07:00

Our last week of summer break was busy busy :)
Anakin and Stasia went to VBS with their best friends, Seth & Eli. They had a blast :)
Thursday, Gabe and I took all the kids to Holiday World. This year Sorsha was 36in tall so she was able to ride some of the bigger rides for the first time. And she LOVED them! She even took on the wave pool and showed it who was boss! Elle is determined to be tall enough next year :)
Today I took the kids to a pool party hosted by one of their new friends, Kendall.
They all had so much fun :)
We have had a wonderful summer and I am so looking forward to my favorite season...FALL :)

I Love Summer!

2010-07-27T08:23:00.000-07:00

Days full of trips to the Splash Park, Library, pool parties, friends hanging out, and ball games...what's not to love, right?
We have one more weekend of Stasia's Travel team games and then we are done with the softball/baseball season!! It has been alot of fun watching them play their hearts out but I am pretty sure I have eaten my weight in popcorn at these games!
I can't believe how fast summer flies by. Only 2 more weeks before school starts!!
Anakin and Stasia are excited about starting school and this year Sorsha gets to go to preschool! She is sooooo ready....I just hope they are ready for her hehe :)
Elle could start preschool this year but Mommy needs one more year with her baby.

Something is missing...

2010-05-11T08:42:00.001-07:00

Anakin made me a very sweet card for Mother's Day.

On the front there is a crown and the words "Queen for the day".

Inside he wrote me a note:

You're the best mom Ever!
All that's missing is a brother!!

Then he drew a picture of him and his mystery brother...passive aggressive much?

I love my kids, they fill my life with humor :)

Crazy Busy

2010-05-06T06:46:00.001-07:00

My last post was so short due to lack of time and energy.
We had a joint birthday party in March for Sorsha and Elle. It was princess themed and they had so much fun!! I love having girls!! :)

Sorsha and Elle keep me VERY busy during the day. They love playing with Mia and she (for whatever reason) completely adores them too.

Anakin and Stasia love school but are looking forward to having the summer off :)
Anakin is playing baseball and Stasia is playing softball. This is Stasia's first year and she LOVES it. They both are doing really well and I am so very proud of them!

We are planning a family vacation to Gatlinburg in June. We are going with Ben and Jada. I am sooooooo excited!! Gabe and I have never been to Gatlinburg and we are really looking forward to it. It will be so nice to just take it easy and relax for a week!

I can think of no better way than this to end my random post:
My warm, sunny, wonderful, non-winter weather is here and I AM LOVING IT!!

Elle

2010-05-03T10:48:00.000-07:00

Elle's birthday was April 19. My baby turned 3.
She is so sweet and adorable! My heart swells every time I look at her.
Sometimes I wonder how I could have ever thought we weren't ready for her.
She fills my life with so much love and laughter!
I love you Elle Belle!!

Sorsha

2010-03-04T12:06:00.000-08:00

My little Sorsha turned 4 Tuesday. She wanted a baby doll that looked like her with "big beautiful blue eyes". So that is what she got, and she named her "Sorsha Baby" :)
She definitely doesn't have a problem expressing herself...at all...ever!
She is my only momma's girl. She follows me around everywhere, always telling me a story about something. Her imagination is incredible! It is so funny the things she thinks up. And if there is something going on, you can bet Sorsha is in the middle of it. More than once she has proven to be our hardest child. The only one out of 4 kids that has ran away in Wal-mart, given us reason to call poison control, convinced me that NOTHING is out of her reach (even if it is way out of mine), and unlocked the front door to run down the street to visit with our neighbor. These are just a few things she has done with 4 years of life.
Sorsha is my sunshine, bug, princess, blue-eyed monster, and my mini-me :)
I love this girl with all my heart!
I look forward and brace myself for another year with this adorable, crazy child :)

Stasia

2010-02-25T16:23:00.001-08:00

It is that time of the year again...my birthday girls.
First in line is Stasia :)
She turned 9 yesterday...9!!
She picked 2 friends to go out with her for her birthday Saturday. She keeps changing her mind about what she wants to do but I am sure they will have fun no matter what she picks :)
I don't even know where to start on how proud I am of this girl!
Charater-wise she is the most selfless person I have ever met. She thinks of her brother and sisters above herself all the time. She has so much love in her heart.
She is doing so well in school. She made honor roll and all her teachers adore her!
She is crazy scatter-brained, I call her my social butterfly :)
I love watching her grow up and I look forward to all the fun times we have ahead of us :)

Happy Birthday Stasia!! Mommy loves you with all my heart!

Happy New Year

2010-01-01T15:33:00.000-08:00

We had a wonderful Christmas! Gabe has been on vacation all week and it has been so nice not having to be up at any certain time...now if only someone would let my kids know that :)
Anakin and Stasia LOVE school and are counting down the days till they get to go back..they are weird, I know.
I reorganized our bedroom this week and I love the new set up...it seems much roomier and less cluttered. Plus I now have all my craft/scrabooking stuff out, it makes me soooo happy! I was looking through all my pictures and cards today, it made me all mushy. Lots of cards and letters from when Gabe and I were just dating, they made me laugh and cry :)
I can't believe how fast time goes. As I was going through the pictures I was amazed at tiny Anakin was as as baby (he still is tiny, but ya know what I mean...) He is now 10 years old!! Gabe and I were talking the other day that if he gets married and has kids at the same age we did then we will be grandparents in just 8 years!! What were our parents thinking??!!
Anakin had his year in football and he loved it!! He can't wait for baseball season to start. Staisa is also wanting to join the sports field...sigh. She will be playing softball this year. I know where I will be spending my spring/summer :)
Sorsha and Elle love having all my attention during the day. It is so funny to watch them play together. My favorite thing is watching them ballroom dance together, Sorsha is always the princess and Elle is always the prince and they waltz around the living room. It is great!I have some ideas for their room and I will be working on that soon and then I will post pictures. First I have to remove all the crayon art from their walls :)

Well that is all I can think for now...Welcome to 2010!!

Update

2009-06-08T18:06:00.000-07:00

This is a very short and random update:
I am doing very well with my baby fever...not weepy about it any more :)

Warm weather is here and I am LOVING it.
The kids play outside most of the day and that gives me a much needed break :)

I enrolled Anakin and Stasia in Oakdale school, they start in the fall.
They are pretty excited about it and so am I :)

Sorsha seems to ok with going potty now and Elle is doing pretty good too :)

That is all for my random update :)

Why I have been hiding...

2009-04-20T08:24:00.000-07:00

Ok, now that I am past all the spring birthdays, I can make my confession.
I have the baby blues...it is silly I know, but that doesn't make it any less real.

I first started realizing in it Jan. The hardest part is coming to terms with the fact that Gabe and I are done having kids (unless God surprises us again). I know we are still young but we have 4 kids!! And we are busting at the seams as it is.

I cried ALOT the first few weeks when I realized that I would never again hold one of my babies for the first time, see them take their first step or hear them say their first word. My little Elle just turned 2, she is sooooo much the little toddler. Has it really been 2 years since I first held that precious chubby girl? It doesn't really seem possible...now she is running, climbing, singing, and way too busy for all my snuggles...
So as much as my heart is longing for a soft baby of my own, I will just have to make do with Jada's and Cassie's babies when they get here :)

That is my confession, my blah feeling explained, and why I have been hiding from my blog...some things are just hard to put into words...

*Warning* If you bring this subject up in person, I am very likely to cry...now you can't say I didn't warn you :)

Gabrielle

2009-04-19T15:50:00.000-07:00

Today my sweet baby turns 2.
She is such a blessing to our family. I am so glad that God knew we needed her even though we didn't think we were ready.
She is quite possible the sweetest baby ever! She has captured all of our hearts.
Happy Birthday my little Angel!! I love you!!

It's been awhile...

2009-04-17T07:51:00.000-07:00

Yes, I have been hiding from my blog. Sometimes things are just hard to put into words. Maybe it's the gloomy weather, maybe it's cabin fever, maybe it is something else all together, but I have been feeling....blah.

All my kids had their yearly exams a few weeks ago.
Anakin is a staggering (hehe) 49" and 48lbs. (5% on both)
Anastasia is close behind with 48" and 46lbs. (20% on both)
Sorsha is tiny at 34" and 26lbs. (5% on both)
And Elle is 32" and 26lbs (20% HT & 45% WT)

All received a perfect bill of health. They are all right on target for their ages and Sorsha and Elle were advanced in several areas. I am a very proud mommy :)

I will have more to post soon :)

Sorsha

2009-03-03T10:14:00.000-08:00

My little bug is now 3 yrs old.
Her birthday was yesterday. We had a pincess cake and she loved it!
She is such a girly girl :)
She is my little shadow, she follows me around all day. I am amazed at how much she knows and how she can tell me about it. She is a total handfull but also such a joy to me. I can't wait to see what this year brings with her :)

Happy Birthday my little Sorsha Bug! I love you!!

Stasia

2009-02-25T07:41:00.000-08:00

Yesterday my little princess turned 8 years old.
Gabe and I surprised her by taking her to Chuck E Cheese for lunch. She loved it :)
She picked Gatti's for supper for the family and when we got home, we had starwberry cake. My kids were bouncing off the wall...it took an hour to get them to stay in bed :)

This Friday Stasia is having a birthday sleepover with 3 friends and then Jada and I are taking her clothes shopping Staurday. She is so excited about her girly day :)

Happy Birthday Princess...I love you!!

A Calm

2009-02-06T05:56:00.000-08:00

January quickly turned into a very stressful time for my family. But God got us through that and now we are having a calm time.
Things finally seem normal. I can't explain how happy it makes me to see my dad acting more like the dad I know and love.
I don't know how long this calm will last but for right now, I am enjoying it.

Jada is pregnant!! I know everyone already knows this, but I am sooooo excited!!
I need another baby to hold and cuddle, now I get one and the best part...I don't have to be pregnant! This one I can spoil and then give back to Ben and Jada :)

I am so done with all the ice!! Can't it melt already!?!
I am ready for summer! I love summer...the sun, the warmth, the kids playing outside :)

Life is good and I am happy :)

10 Years...

2009-01-09T16:17:00.000-08:00

Wow!! Today Gabe and I celebrate our 10 year Anniversary.
It is amazing to look back over the last 10 years and see how much God has done in both our lives. It hasn't always been easy, but it has been worth it
Happy Anniversary Gabe, I can't wait to see what the next 10 years have for us :)
I love you, Always & Forever!!

A Fresh Start

2009-01-08T14:16:00.000-08:00

I have started reading the Bible through in 90 days. I have started this several times but always fell behind very quickly. So far I am doing much better this time around.

I am also on day 4 of the 21 day Daniel Fast. Jada and I split up our water only days (3 in a row was too much for me, I was too sick to move on day 2). We are doing 1 day a week of just water. My main craving is CHEESE. I miss cheese more than anything, more than my Mt.Dew, even more than my chocolate chip cookies. My first day back to normal food will be a very cheese filled day!! Overall I am enjoying it though, I know that might sound weird, but it is true. It feels nice to be able to clean the last year out of my life, in a way. I can feel God removing all the negative stuff from me and replacing with His purpose.

Happy New Year

2009-01-01T07:52:00.000-08:00

I am so ready for a new year!! A fresh start to life. 2008 had so much heartache for my family, I am not going to look back over all that happend, my eyes and heart are set ahead.
I can't wait to see what God is going to do this year!!

Our Gingerbread House

2008-12-22T11:20:00.000-08:00

Update

2008-12-17T08:44:00.000-08:00

It has been awhile since I have posted anything...not much to catch up on.

I finally put up my Christmas tree yesterday. It is my little 3ft tree, but hey at least I have one up now. The kids were very happy!
I am going to make a gingerbread house with them this weekend...that should be fun :)

My Jada bought me the Twilight series for Christmas. I have borrowed hers since we started reading them but now I have my very own books!! I can't express how happy this makes me :)
The release date for New Moon has been set for Nov 20, 2009...as long as they keep this up I will get to see Twilight for my birthday 4 years in a row, (they better keep this up!)

That is all the news I can think of at this time.

Twilight

2008-11-22T16:58:00.001-08:00

As most people know, I read the Twilight series a couple months ago and have been counting down the days to see the movie.
I went saw the movie last night with Jada, Dixie and my Mommy. I loved it!
Sure it was cheesy sometimes and some scenes had bad acting, but it was still thrilling to see the book come alive :)
I pretty much glowed all evening...sad I know, but still true :)

The books are 1,000,000x better but I love the movie too!!

Hurting

2008-11-16T19:04:00.000-08:00

I am trying to be ok...really I am, but if I am being honest with myself, I'm not ok.
I tell myself "he isn't himself right now" but it doesn't make it hurt any less.
I tell myself "he doesn't mean what he says" but it breaks my heart.
I tell myself "he still loves me" but it is getting harder to believe that.
I put on my happy face and try to act like my world isn't falling apart, but really I have never felt so scared and broken.
I try to say and do the right things but I am so tired of being bounced back and forth. How can someone who loves me, hurt me this much??

I said this on that day and I still mean it..."I love you, no matter what you have done, no matter what you are still doing, I will always love you!"
Please remember that I love you and come back to us, I need you!!

Thank You

2008-10-23T06:35:00.000-07:00

To everyone who has been there for my family this week.
To my family for not walking away when it gets hard.
To my friends who let me cry on their shoulder.
To my church family for all the prayers and support.

Thank you all so very very much!!

Life

2008-10-20T21:10:00.000-07:00

really really stinks sometimes and this is one of those times!!

Kids....

2008-10-15T06:40:00.000-07:00

"Hey Mom, smell this diaper, it smells weird..."

Just one of many very strange things my kids say to me.

This one came from Stasia. I think I offened her by NOT smelling the diaper, I am sure she will get over it :)

Happy Birthday Anakin

2008-10-15T06:30:00.000-07:00

I am week late on getting this post out. Worst. Mom. Ever.

Last week, Oct. 8th, my baby boy turned 9.

Wednesday, I surprised Anakin by taking him to meet Gabe at his office and then we took him out for lunch at Shylers. On our way home, we went shopping for his birthday present. I really enjoyed the one-on-one time with him and I think he did too :)

Saturday, we went to watch Eli and Noah's football game. Afterwards I took the boys to see Journey to the Center of the Earth. We came back home and had pizza & cake.
My van STILL smells like sweaty football socks...yeah, it's great! (of course I still have a pair of Noah's shoes, so that probably explains the smell :)

Happy (very late) Birthday my Little Man!
I love you so very much!!

Baby Powder

2008-09-19T14:02:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, while I was in the kitchen doing the dishes, my little girls decided to "change" their baby doll's diapers.

The results...

Stasia's room now smells Powder fresh :)

Weird...

2008-09-18T05:57:00.000-07:00

You Are an Eyebrow Piercing

You are unique, quirky, and more than a little eccentric.

You cultivate the weirder sides of your personality, and you don't mind sharing them.

Ever since you were a kid, you've had strong opinions. You've never been like everyone else, and you're okay with that.

And you've always been able to tell people exactly what you think - even when they don't want to hear it.

You love to create, dream, imagine, and communicate. You live in your own universe.

And unlike most people who live in their own little world, you're happy to invite anyone in!

What Piercing Are You?

10 Things

2008-09-12T05:28:00.000-07:00

10 Things I love about being a Mommy:

10. I Love holding my baby for the very first time

9. I Love hugs & kisses, the ones where they hold on to you and never want to let go

8. I Love being the center of their universe...yeah, that's awesome!

7. I Love watching my kids sleep...they look like angels

6. I Love hearing them say "Momma" for the first time

5. I Love hearing them say "I love you"...anytime :)

4. I Love how they snuggle against me just to hear my heartbeat

3. I Love that they think I am Super Mom, able to fix any boo-boo, make them feel better when they are sick, and make bad dreams go away...yeah, those are my super powers :)

2. I Love how they watch everything I do and then try to do it too. This pushes me to try to be a better person everyday and that's never a bad thing :)

1. But most of all, I Love how being a mommy showed me what true love is: To love someone completely, not because of what they can do for me, but because they are my heart, outside of my body

Today...

2008-09-12T05:19:00.000-07:00

is day 5 in my workout/eating healthier plan.
And so far I am doing fairly well :)
I have only had 1 Mt.Dew everyday and I have been drinking water the rest of the time.
I'm not as sore and the workout routines are getting easier to do.
Overall, I feel pretty good :)

2 Things I HATE...

2008-09-08T14:57:00.000-07:00

Exercise and diets!
My reason for hating these 2 things is really very simple. Exercise HURTS and I LOVE food.
I have started doing the Turbo Jam and Hip Hop Abs workouts this week.
Today was my first day...and it SUCKED!!
Don't be surprised if I am not moving much at all by Wednesday, I think it will be the hardest day for me.
I am not doing the diet part because I LOVE FOOD! And I am just not ready to give that up! I am going to try to eat slightly healthier during the day but I make no promises on that.
Jada is doing the workout with me so it's her job to keep me on track (no pressure Jada :)

Well that's all I have for now...more whiny baby posts to come, I am sure...

Written By Gabe:

2008-09-04T17:08:00.000-07:00

I love rainbows

Yeah. I like rainbows. Probably not what you'd expect to hear me say. Or type, I guess. Allow myself to explain... myself.

I was just driving home from work on my motorcycle in the lovely indiana 'almost-raining' rain. It was just enough rain to get my lower legs wet, but that's about it. As I approached a clearing soon before reaching Boonville, I saw it. A HUGE rainbow. End to end I could see this thing. I could see in the fields to my right and my left where it 'ended.' I looked for the pot o' gold at each end, but alas.. The rainbow was so bright that I could see colors below the purple (or indigo as I was taught in school.. pff it's purple) I could see yellow and red starting again after the purple.. it was that bright.

I love rainbows. Why? Scientifically, they're wonderous. I think of how it's an optical illusion, how every person sees the rainbow differently at the exact point in space they are in relevance to the position of the sun. How nobody ever sees the same rainbow, but their own rainbow. Deep eh?

So why is it weird for me to say 'I like rainbows' ? In today's world, they stand for lots of things. Gay rights, Unicorns, and who knows what else. If I was to wear a shirt to school (when I was in highschool, that is) that said 'Rainbows are teh WIN' I would been beaten up. I would have expected such.

But herein lies my point. Rainbows are not a symbol of gay pride. They are not what the world has made them to be. The Bible tells us thus:
Genesis 9:13-15
13 I have set my rainbow in the clouds, and it will be the sign of the covenant between me and the earth. 14 Whenever I bring clouds over the earth and the rainbow appears in the clouds, 15 I will remember my covenant between me and you and all living creatures of every kind. Never again will the waters become a flood to destroy all life.

As I was riding home, I realized that this world will turn everything that God creates into something that it is not. How many examples of this can we see? This world was not created, it just happened by chance. Human life was not intentional, it was evolution. Human life does not begin at conception, but at the moment the baby pops out. The list can go on.

But as I think of this, I also remember that what the world tells us is stupid, or pointless, or accidental, that God can use for his will. He can take that cancer and use it to glorify His Name. He can use that divorce to show His awesome power. He can use a child's death to bring a heart back to him. He can show a rainbow in the sky as a promise against destruction. But he can also use that rainbow to remind us: Don't turn this world into something that God has to destroy.

I love rainbows.

I forgot...

2008-08-27T07:43:00.000-07:00

I really can't believe I forgot to mention this in the reunion post. I blame the crazy week before for my memory loss...

We were sitting at the table as they are giving out awards to the most interesting people from high school, ya know, the people that have done something worth getting noticed :)

The speaker says " and the next award goes to someone who has had 4 kids in the last 10 years...their ages are 8, 7,2 & 1. Will Gabe Matthews please accept the Best Dad Award".

I mean really...we get it everywhere we go,even from people I have never met. Will the teasing never end??

So there you have it, my husband's most outstanding achievement since high school is having the most kids.

And really, I couldn't be more proud of my family :)

Friends

2008-08-26T07:20:00.000-07:00

15 years ago, I met some of the best friends I will ever have. For 5 years we did everything together. We had secret code names, made up words that only we knew the meaning of, kept each other secrets, laughed together, cried together and swore to stay friends no matter what.
Then life happened and we all went in different directions. We stayed in contact even though some of them were half way across the world most of the time :)

Last night most of us were able to meet for our reunion of sorts...here are my girls:

Christine Creager (Zahn) married Jason.
They recently had an adorable baby boy, William.
She is a lead teacher at a day care.

I have known Christine for 25 years :)

Rhonda Powell (Troutman) married Josh.
She teaches at the school in their church.
She and Josh are the youth pastors at their church.

I have known Rhonda for 12 years :)

Megan Barnhill (Meyers) married Larry.
They have 2 beautiful kids: Judah Elisha & Hannah Grace.
Her family volunteers at the local coffee house where live Christian bands play every Sat. night.

I have known Megan for 15 years.

Casey Jenkins.
She owns her own Cafe shop.
She does photography on the side.

I adopted Casey as my little sister 15 years ago.

( Casey is holding Megan's baby girl...isn't she just a dol!! )

Hopefully Theresa and Sarah will be able to make it to our next get together :)

I LOVE YOU GIRLS!!

10 year reunion

2008-08-24T16:03:00.000-07:00

Friday was Gabe's 10 year high school reunion. We had a really nice time. My brother-in-law graduated the same year as Gabe so he and his wife were with us. It was nice to have a few familiar faces there with me :)
It was nice to have a night out without the kids and be able to hang out with other adults.

Tomorrow night I am having my own 10 year reunion of sorts....not a school reunion of course.
A group of girls that I grew up with, attended church with, and pretty much spent every moment on the phone with at least one of them everyday, have decided it is time to get together again. I have stayed in contact with them over the years, some more than others, but we have not all been together in about 10 years. I am really looking forward to it!!

The Song

2008-08-24T14:56:00.000-07:00

About a month ago Gabe told me he wanted me to write a song. My first reaction was to laugh (alot) at the idea. It's not like I would be able to sing it or even play it, so why would he think of this?? However, once he mentioned it to me, the idea wouldn't leave me alone. 2 days later turned my song in to him.
I make no claim to this being any good but I figured I would post it because it just fits in this point of my life...

I Bow My Head

I close my eyes to numb the pain
I close my eyes to shut out the shame
I bow my head and cry out your name
Can you hear me?

I feel so alone, darkness is all around me
I don't even remember the sound of your voice
I bow my head and cry out your name
Can you hear me?

You reach down from heaven
Oh God, you are my saving grace
You hold me with your nail-pierced hands
Oh God, you are my saving grace

When I stumble and lose my way
When I am too tired to try again
I bow my head and cry out your name
You always hear me

Many times I fail to answer your call
I don't always see your will for me
I bow my head and cry out your name
You always hear me

You reach down from heaven
Oh God, you are my saving grace
You hold me with your nail-pierced hands
Oh God, you are my saving grace

Still Here...

2008-08-20T07:32:00.000-07:00

I am so very tired but I am still here!
There are no words for what is happening so I am not even going to try.

I'm Back

2008-08-17T11:52:00.001-07:00

My family has been under attack and I am tired of it!
They are MY family and I will NOT give them up without a fight.
They are my heart, if they are hurting then I am hurting. And they have been hurting for too long. I refuse to take it anymore. My family will be stronger and close than ever!
If the enemy wants a fight then it's a fight he is getting.
I am strong so I say BRING IT ON!!!

Lost

2008-08-15T14:20:00.000-07:00

I feel lost, my little world feels like it is being ripped apart at the seams.
Things that were once so clear are now distorted.
I am trying to keep my head above the rushing waters, but I am not strong.

I am sorry this is not my usually happy self posting...I am sure I will be back to normal soon...

Gabe's Quiz

2008-08-02T18:55:00.000-07:00

Take this quiz (if you dare) and see how well you know Gabe :)

http://www.quizyourfriends.com/take-quiz.php?id=0808022138215856&a=1&

Then let me know how you do :)

Youth Camp

2008-07-31T08:04:00.000-07:00

Our youth camp was this week. It started Sunday and ended with a trip to Holiday World Tuesday.

I love love love working with the youth. Some say it keeps you young, I am not so sure about that. I feel my age more around them than any other time :)
No matter how many times people say I could pass for one of the youth, after just a few hours with them, my body quickly reminds me that I am NOT that age. Not even close :)

I can't express the burden that I have on my heart for these kids. When I am with them I have such a content feeling, knowing that I am doing what I am supposed to be doing. And yet at the same time I have such a yearning to be doing more with them. It definitely isn't an easy ministry but it's where my heart is.

My Quiz from QuizYourFriends.com

2008-07-25T13:09:00.001-07:00

All About Me
1) How old was I when I met Gabe?
		14
		13
		12
		11

Make A Quiz - Take This Quiz - View Scoreboard

Welcome Violet Corinne

2008-07-24T05:44:00.000-07:00

My little niece was born six weeks early on July 17. My sister-in-law had very high toxic readings and they had to induce her.

Abby and Violet are both doing great right now. As of yesterday she is out of her incubator, and her feeding tube is out. They have her in a little bassinet, she still has her monitors on and the iv in her foot, but the iv is not in use -- just there in case something happens and they need it.

We are so proud of how well she is doing!!

Congrats Abby, Eddie, Savannah and Tori!! She is beautiful and perfect in every way!

The ABC's of Me

2008-07-08T06:23:00.000-07:00

Took this from my friend Melissa's blog :)

A. Aromatherapy? Satsuma from The Body Shop,

B. Best Buds? Christine, Jada, Cathy, Mellisa, Laura

C. Can't eat just one? Peanut M&M's

D. Roller Derby in your future? HAHAHAHAHAHA... Only as a spectator

E. Essential item? Lipgloss

F. Favorite thing to do in your spare time? Read

G. Gotta love it when? Another month passes and I am NOT pregnant :D

H. Home town you grew up in? Chandler

I. Favorite Indulgence? Mocha Latte from Starbucks...mmmmmmm

J. Just what where you thinking when you said? "That wasn't too bad, I could do that again" ...2 seconds after Anakin was born

K. Do you have Kids? What are their names? Yes!! Anakin Sky, Anastasia Starr, Sorsha Adonai, Gabrielle Arwen

L. Life isn't complete without? Jesus Christ

M. Marriage Date? Jan 9, 1999

N. Number of brothers and sisters? you just had to ask....6 brothers & 3 sisters

O. Oranges, apples or other? oranges

P. Phobias? heights, small enclosed spaces, and SPIDERS *shudder*

Q. Quotes? "what are we eating??"

R. Reasons to smile? My hubby and my kids

S. Speed Dial Numbers? none..they are all in my head

T. TV shows you don't want to miss? CSI, House, Heroes

U. Unknown fact about me? I love vampires :)

V. How do you Veg out? A good book on the couch

W. Worst habit? so many to choose from...

X. eXperience you don't want to do again? an unplanned pregnancy :)

Y. Your favorite food? Italian

Z. 'Zactly what were you thinking when you said? "I think I will run a daycare in my house"

Catching Up

2008-06-25T06:09:00.000-07:00

It has been busy crazy around here.

My first week home was full. The Saturday right after I came home, we all went shopping. Since having 4 kids usually only Gabe or I go and the other stays home with the kids, it's just easier this way. But I missed them and didn't want to be away from them so we all went. It went pretty smoothly, it helps that the kids are older now. We were told at least 4 times that we have a beautiful family...now what mom doesn't just love to hear that :)
Later that day we took the kids to the splash park and Sunday we went swimming at mom's house. The rest of the week was full of our normal routine.

Last weekend was really busy. Gabe and I went on a date Friday night. We saw "The Happening". We both liked it, even though it really disturbed me, I shuddered the whole way home.

Saturday was the Square Flare. The clinic had booth so I was there, helping pass out popsicles.
That evening I went to Jada's Body Shop party...I love those things!! It appeals to my girly nature.

Sunday Gabe left to go to Ohio for the week. He has a training course for work that he has to attend.

Monday, Sorsha tried to overdose on Advil and I had to call poison control. She is fine and we didn't have to make a trip to the ER.

Yesterday I had to take Stasia to the doctor because she had this weird little bump on the back of her head. The doctor said it was a swollen Lymph Node. He said it should go down in 4-6 weeks. He gave me a list of things to watch for just in case it turned more serious.

I just want to know why these things always happen to me when Gabe is out of town. But when I go out of town, nothing happens. It keeps me busy, that is for sure!
I am hoping the rest of the week passes without anymore doctor visits or calls to poison control.

Home Sweet Home

2008-06-13T14:18:00.000-07:00

I am so tired...it's bed time right?? Please??

We had to get up this morning at 3:00am to get a shuttle to the airport. 3 airports and 2 flights later, we were home :)

We met Gabe in Evansville for lunch and then I went to mom's house to see my babies.
I missed them so much!!

I am trying really hard to think of more to write, but my brain is in shut down mode...I think I am just going to sign off :)

I had a wonderful time! I am very glad to be home!

The End!

Days 3 & 4 in Florida

2008-06-12T18:58:00.000-07:00

This vacation has been pretty much perfect. It has been so relaxing and fun.

Yesterday we did much of the same thing - swim, lay out, shop. That night, we dressed up and went out to eat at a really nice local Italian restaurant. It was very yummy.

This morning we got up at 5:45 to watch the sunrise. It was very pretty.
We didn't do much today...walked along the beach, went shopping and ate at Joe's Crab Shack again...very tasty!!

All in all, it has been an awesome week, but we are very much ready to come home.
We will wake up very early and head to the airport.

Here are some pictures of the sunrise

2nd Day In Florida

2008-06-10T19:44:00.001-07:00

We had another wonderful day.
We went to the beach right after breakfast. It is so peaceful, I love it!!

After we laid out for a few hours, we walked around to few shops and ate at Joe's Crab Shack...it was pretty much awesome! Best popcorn shrimp EVER!! The waiters also did this sad little dance to "workin at the car wash" it was embarrassing but funny to witness :)

We took a lovely nap and then went walking around town, went down to the beach at dusk and Jada took wonderful pictures.

The beds here are magic beds...you can't help but fall asleep if you lay on them for 5 minutes...not even joking!

Here are some pictures for you to enjoy :)

1st Day in Flordia

2008-06-09T17:55:00.000-07:00

Jada and I are finally here!! Much planning and patience has gone into this vacation and it has been so worth it!

Our day started at 3:00am...3 airports, 2 flights later we are HERE!!
Everything has gone so smoothly so far. It has been a great day!

Our hotel is wonderful!! It is everything we wanted!

We played in the ocean, laid out, went shopping and walked along the beach at dusk.

While we were laying out, we were attacked by the local seagulls. The family sitting next to us had brought a picnic and the little boy shared his with the birds. Of course they wanted more...

This all happened right above our little heads, but we got lucky and escaped poo free :)

More updates to come in the next days, but for now...it is time to rest this little head!!

Crazy Hair

2008-06-02T14:34:00.001-07:00

A very bad case of bed hair. It made me laugh...a lot!!

Update

2008-05-30T08:00:00.000-07:00

Anakin had his cast removed yesterday. He is very glad to have his arm back!

Waiting for the doctor...

The cast...

This is what his arm looked like before...

This is his new and improved arm

...9 more days...I can't wait!!

80's Night

2008-05-26T20:06:00.001-07:00

Sunday night was 80's night at our church.
I had so much fun dressing up and teasing my hair!!

Me and Gabe ... aren't we the perfect 80's couple...haha

Jada and I had so much fun shopping for our outfits!
Nothing beats having friends willing to look silly with you!!

Melissa, me and Jada...we is pretty much fabulous!!

Busy/Bored

2008-05-19T16:08:00.000-07:00

Is it possible to be so busy that you almost go crazy, and yet so bored all at the same time??
I say yes, it is possible. That is how I have felt all this month.
I am so busy that by the time my head hits the pillow at night, I am out in a second.
So how can I be so bored & restless??
I need a book to read...any suggestions?? I have read all the ones I have so many times that I pretty much have them memorized.

20 days till my Florida vacation...still pretty much excited beyond words.

What is there to NOT be excited about??

Stressful things in my life have pretty much settled down. Family situations have calmed down. Past friend issues have melted away and I can focus on the beautiful friendships that I am so thankful for. School is out. Anakin's cast comes off next week, YAY! Summer is almost really here...life is good :)

Happy Mother's Day

2008-05-11T13:44:00.000-07:00

Before I Was A Mom

Before I was a Mom
I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom -
I had never been puked on.
Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts.
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom
I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put him down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom -
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom -
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache,
the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.

I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much, before I was a Mom

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wonderful Mothers

This is for all the mothers who have sat up all night with sick toddlers in their arms,
wiping up barf laced with Kraft dinner and wieners, birthday cake, and cherry Kool-Aid saying, "It's OK honey, Mommy's here."
Who have walked around the house all night with their babies when they kept crying and wouldn't stop.

This is for all the mothers who have shown up at work with spit-up in their hair
and milk stains on their blouses and diapers in their purse.

For all the mothers who have run car pools and made dozens of cookies for school teas and sewn Halloween costumes.
And all the mothers who haven't because they're at work trying to keep on top of the bills.

This is for the mothers who gave birth to babies they'll never see.
And the mothers who took those babies and gave them homes and all their love.

This is for all the mothers who have frozen their buns off on metal bleachers at hockey, baseball or soccer games any night of the week instead of watching from their cars, so that when their kids asked,"Did you see me?" they could say, "Of course, I wouldn't have missed it for the world," and meant it.

This is for all the mothers who have yelled at their kids in the grocery store and swatted them in despair when they stomped their feet like a tired 2-year old does, who wants ice cream before dinner, and then hated themselves for "losing" it.

This is for all the mothers who sat down with their children and explained all about making babies.
And for all the mothers who wanted to but just couldn't.

For all the mothers who read "Goodnight, Moon" twice a night for a year. And then read it again. "Just one more time."

This is for all the mothers who taught their children to tie their shoelaces before they started school.
And for all the mothers who opted for Velcro instead.

This is for all the mothers who taught their sons to cook and sew and their daughters to be brave and strong (and sink a jump shot.)

This is for all mothers whose heads turn automatically when a little voice calls "Mom?" in a crowd, even though they know their own offspring are at home.

This is for all the mothers who sent their kids to school with stomach aches, assuring them they'd be just FINE once they got there, only to get calls from the school nurse an hour later asking them to please pick them up. Right away. And they do.

This is for mothers whose children have gone astray, and who can't find the words to reach them. For all the mothers who bite their lips sometimes until they bleed when their 14-year-olds dye their hair green.

What makes a good Mother anyway?
Is it patience? Compassion? Broad hips?
The ability to nurse a baby, cook dinner, and sew a button on a shirt, all at the same time?
Or is it the heart? Is it the ache you feel when you watch your son or daughter disappear down the street, walking to school alone for the very first time?
Or the terror in your heart at 1 AM when your teenager with the new driver's license is an hour late getting home.
The jolt that takes you from sleep to dread, from bed to crib at 2 A.M. to put your hand on the back of a sleeping baby?
Or to feel the dull ache as you look in on your sleeping daughter or son the night before they leave for a college in another city.
The need to flee from wherever you are and hug your child when you hear news of a fire, a car accident, a child dying?

For all the mothers of the victims of all the school shootings, and the mothers of those who did the shooting.
For the mothers of the survivors,and the mothers who sat in front of their TVs in horror, hugging their child who just came home from school, safely.

This is for mothers who have tearfully placed flowers and teddy bears on their children's graves. Whose children have died from illness, accidents and the worst of all and hardest to comprehend, suicides.

This is for young mothers stumbling through diaper changes and sleep deprivation.
And mature mothers who have learned and are still learning, to let go.
For working mothers and stay-at-home mothers.
Single mothers and married mothers.
Grandmothers whose wisdom and love remains a constant for their grown children and their children's children.
For Mothers with money, and Mothers without.

This is for you all.
So hang in there.

Update on Anakin

2008-05-08T08:02:00.001-07:00

Anakin had his doctor appointment this morning. Everything looks good, his arm is healing nicely.
He has to go back in another week for more x-rays and exams. The doctor said in another week or 2, he will take the long cast off and put a short one on.
Anakin is very excited about this as it will allow him to move his arm more.
He is adjusting very well. He has his frustrated moments but that is only normal. Bath time has proved our greatest challenge. Monday night, he put his arm down in the water to keep his balance as he sat down in the tub. Lucky for us, I had wrapped his arm so well, the cast wasn't even damp.

I am so proud of him and how well he is handling everything!

Potty Break

2008-05-05T09:53:00.000-07:00

Sorsha has been sitting on the potty a couple times a day for several months. She reads, brushes her teeth or jabbers to me the whole time. A few times she has actually peed in the potty. There is much rejoicing each time, but it has been more of a coincidence that it was in the potty.
But today...
She told me she needed to go potty and she actually peed in the potty!! Not because she just happened to be sitting there, but because she knew she had to pee!! I am so excited.

Now I know you may think I am crazy to get this excited over potty time with my third one, but Anakin and Stasia were awful when came to potty training.
Anakin was 4 before he started peeing in the potty on his own. I tried every thing for 2 years to get him to do it. But he just didn't care. Then one day he did and my life was easier after that. Stasia was 3 before she was potty trained. She was grossed out by the whole thing and cried if you even mentioned potty to her.
The fact that Sorsha has been willing to even sit there has been a nice change for me. And now she seems to be catching on to the whole idea at the perfect age of 2. I am pretty much thrilled :)

The Weekend

2008-05-05T06:18:00.000-07:00

I had a busy weekend but it passed with no accidents.
Saturday was crazy!
3 of my youth girls (Jenny, Lesley, Charlene) had their graduation party at the church. I love these girls so much! I stopped by for a few minutes before I had to run to take Anakin to get his baseball pictures. His coach was really nice when saw Anakin's arm. He told Anakin he was welcome to come to every practice and game. This made Anakin's whole face light up. The coach also told Anakin he could be the bat boy at the games. Anakin is so excited about being able to do something. It almost made me cry.
After that, Jada and I hung out while our guys went amp shopping. We were going to watch 27 dresses but they were all rented out. So instead we just had girl time and it was wonderful! When the guys returned, Jada and I went tanning. Ben bought Anakin a huge bag of candy when he broke his arm. We busted that out and stuffed ourselves on yummy candy. We even shared with the kids, aren't we the best :)
Sunday was spent shopping and cleaning. All in all, it was a good weekend.

Update

2008-05-02T07:37:00.000-07:00

Anakin and I talked about baseball this morning. He took it so very well.

He asked if he could still watch the games, even if he couldn't play. And I told him "of course!".

He is on his pain meds, adjusting to doing everything with his left hand and keeping his sense of humor through it all.

I love my Little Man!

My Brave Little Man

2008-05-01T20:53:00.000-07:00

I had plans of attending the Ladies' Meeting tonight. I had my food made and everything ready.

Then it happened. At 5:00pm, a scream from the back yard sends chills through me. I run out the door and to the back yard. Anakin is laying on the ground telling Stasia to go get me, he is hurt bad. As I reach him, I look down at the arm he is holding. I turn around and yell "WHOA"!!!
I scoop him up and run as fast as can back to house, trying my hardest not to look at his arm. I call my dad and ask if he can bring my sisters over to watch the kids so I can take Anakin to ER. Dad is here in 5 minutes. He puts Anakin's arm in a sling and off we go.

4 1/2 hours later we are home. Anakin is sleeping now and I will be soon.

This is what his arm looked like before the cast:

He was the bravest boy! He had a great sense of humor. He was pretty much the best patient ever :)

I cried. I can't describe what this did to my mommy heart. It was the most painful thing I have ever gone through and I wasn't brave like Anakin. I held myself together for him but on the inside, I was a mess!

Tomorrow I have to break the news to him that he is done with baseball for the year. I couldn't bring myself to tell him tonight. My poor little man had been through enough and this will crush him. Please keep him in your prayers.

One Year With Elle

2008-04-21T11:56:00.001-07:00

Want a Bug??

2008-04-17T06:19:00.000-07:00

No, not an insect. My daughter.
She has drove me crazy this week.
I have never seen a child that could get into so much, in such a small amount of time.

This morning it started at 5:00am, when she decided to break into the kitchen cabinet and dump an entire box of pancake mix on the floor.
It is now 8:30 and she has dumped the money out of Anakin's piggy bank, unrolled an entire roll of paper towels, emptied the box of diapers all over the floor, unpacked the diaper bag, and ran down the hallway with a streamer of toilet paper flying behind her (still connected to the roll in the bathroom). It's going to be a long day.

So I ask again...does any one want my Bug??

Josie Mae

2008-04-14T18:44:00.000-07:00

I am the proud aunt to another beautiful niece.

Josie Mae was born this afternoon at 12:28 pm, weighing 6 lbs, 5 oz. She is 20 inches long.

I can't wait till I get hold her. Isn't she just precious?!

Congratulations Chrissy, Danny, Katie & Daphne!! She is adorable!!

April Showers...

2008-04-10T18:36:00.000-07:00

Don't always bring May flowers. Sometimes April showers bring mud.
This was the topic of our devotion tonight, taught by Tina. She did an awesome job and I really got a lot out of it! This hit very close to my heart because I have had a rough year. It has been one bad thing on top of another. Many times I have just sat in the "mud" and cried. It takes a lot to tend to the garden of your heart while there is mud everywhere, but it must be done if you want to have a beautiful garden.
Thank you Tina for reminding me of this. You did a great job!! Love ya!

News

2008-04-10T15:28:00.000-07:00

It is that time of year. Dirty fields, bleachers and the sound cheering crowds.
Anakin is playing baseball again this year. I might just be saying this because I am his mommy, but he is doing pretty good this year. He has a little more experience and a lot more confidence.
The only thing I don't like this year is his practice schedule. He has practice on Wednesdays and Fridays at 5:00 or 6:15. For those who go to our church, I am sure you can see why I don't like this schedule.

Elle turns 1 in 9 days...when did she grow up?? I will be weepy if I dwell on this any more, so moving on...

Jada and I are going to Florida in June! I have never been and I am beyond excited!! We have our hotel & flight booked. I have also never flown anywhere so that should be fun :)
We will start tanning soon, this will be the first time I have ever been in a tanning bed.
Noticing a pattern here?? This vacation has a lot of firsts for me.
I will miss Gabe and kids terribly but I really need this. And they probably could use a break from me :)
Overall, I am super happy and totally excited!!

A Tribute To My Friends

2008-04-04T07:27:00.000-07:00

Christine - We have been best friends forever. I don't remember a time without you. Thank you for your friendship, it has helped me through some really hard times.

Casey, Rhonda Sarah, Megan - You guys made my teen years great! I will always look back on those crazy times and laugh

Stacey, Sonya, Susan - You have been such an inspiration to me. Thank you for all you do!

Cathy - I thank God for bringing you into my life. You brought HOP to me and it has touched my life so much. You are such a kind, warm friend. You are always there for me, to give a hug or a shoulder to cry on. Your friendship has blessed me so much!

Melissa - Our visits mean the world to me. You are such a sweet person. You are there for me no matter what I am going through. I know I can go to you with anything, anytime.

Kristy - I remember the first time I really got to know you...you were 10 and had big glasses that you hate so much. Your fun lovin, goofy self has forever imprinted my heart. You will always be my Kristy, no matter what. You are such a wonderful friend. There would be a huge void in my world without you.

Dana - You were more than friend, you were my sister. I am very thankful for the time that we had together. I will always have a Dana hand print on my heart. I miss you more than I can ever say. I hope only happiness and the very best follows you wherever you go and whatever you do!

Jada - I have enjoyed being able to watch you grow and mature over the many years I have known you. You are such a strong and stable friend. I feel very blessed to not only have you as a friend, but also family. You really are a daisy. Thank you for aways being you :)

Benny - You have been my twin since we were kids. I can't imagine growing up without you. I have always admired your ability to be adventurous. You did things most kids wouldn't even think of. You never let anything stop you or slow you down. I envy that in you. There is not a single childhood memory I have that doesn't include you.

Laura - You are the best sister I could ever wish for!!

Abby, Chrissy - I love you guys! I am so very blessed to have such cool sister-in-laws. You are the best!

Ashley - I feel honored to be able to count you as one of my friends. I enjoying hanging out with you and getting to know you better. I look forward to seeing our friendship grow

Gabe - You are my soul mate. You are my soft place to land after a hard day. You see me at my worst and yet still love me. I love you, always and forever!

Thank you to all my friends! I would be lost without you!

Some Days

2008-04-03T06:39:00.000-07:00

I really do love being a stay at home mom. Some days I love it more than others.
Today is of the "other" days.
*poo warning*
I wake up this morning to Sorsha beating me in the head with her sippy cup and I can hear Elle screaming her head off in the background. I get the bigger kids cereal and move on to Elle. When I pick Elle up, I realize that she has NO diaper on and the poo is EVERYWHERE.
I wipe her off, set her in the tub and start cleaning up the bed. (Stasia is sitting with Elle in the bathroom, I didn't leave her by herself)
Sorsha then decides to get down from the table, with her cereal. It ends up on the floor.
Once the bed is clean and the floor is clean, I move to the bathroom to scrub Elle down.
As I am washing her, I can't help but think of at least 20 jobs that would be easier than the one I have.
I could work somewhere where:
I get to wear nice clothes
I don't have to clean up poo
diapers don't exist
I don't have a 2 yr growth hanging off my legs
there are no screaming kids

And the list goes on and on

I have had such jobs and I missed my kids more than word can describe. They may be easier, but they are not as awarding. I LOVE being with them and not missing the first words, first steps, first tooth and so many other things. There is nothing else I would rather do....even with the poo.

But some days, I can't help but daydream...

Thank You

2008-04-01T14:21:00.000-07:00

to all my dear friends.
Thank you for all your words of encouragement, excitement, and congratulations.
This is one of the reasons I love my friends...always there for me. I don't have to go through anything alone. Through tears and laughter, you guys are always right there with me.

However...I have a confession...

I love practical jokes!

Happy April Fools' Day everyone!!

I love you all!!

News....

2008-04-01T07:07:00.000-07:00

Yes, I am pregnant.

Stasia

2008-03-31T07:38:00.000-07:00

Last night Stasia told me that she wanted me to cut her hair. She wanted her hair short like Maggie's. I was very hesitant to cut it because she has been wanting to let it grow long. But she kept asking, so we started cutting. Sorsha helped. She pushed, pulled, combed hair, climbed on me, and pushed some more. Much to my distress, Stasia's hair kept getting shorter due to Sorsha's "help".
She loves it, I cried...

Little Elle

2008-03-28T07:58:00.000-07:00

My baby is trying to walk. I can't express the sadness and pride I feel when I see her standing by herself. She will be 1 next month and I am so sad.
As much as I wanted to get through the first year of having 2 so close, I also didn't want it to end.
She has changed so much and her personality has really started to show. She is serious, bubbly, playful and she has a temper that can flare up with no warning. She loves to dance and wrestle. I don't think she will be one of my girly girls but that's ok, I have 2 of those already :)
She is such a joy to have. She plays 'patty-cake' and 'itsy-bisty spider'. Everytime she figures out how to do something, she gives me this look that says "Aren't I so smart!" It is the cutest look ever. Her jabber just brightens my day. She has our hearts for sure!
I thank God for blessing our family with our little Elle!!

My Flower

2008-03-26T07:06:00.001-07:00

I am a
Violet

What Flower
Are You?

"You have a shy personality. You tend to hesitate before trying new things or meeting new people. But once people get to know you, you open up and show the world what you are really all about."

What would your kids do??

2008-03-24T06:26:00.000-07:00

Have you ever wondered what your kids would do if you fell, were hurt, unable to move or wake up?? What would they do in that situation?
I asked Stasia last week "what would you do if you found mommy laying on the floor and you couldn't get me to wake up?".
"I would scream really loud in your ear" was her immediate response.
"And if that didn't work and I still didn't move?"
"I would go crawl in my bed a throw the blanket over my head."
"What?! Why would you do that??"
"Because if you were sleeping and I couldn't get you to wake up, it must be bedtime, so I would go to bed."
"But honey, what if mommy was hurt and that's why she wouldn't wake up?"
"Oh, then I would call daddy"
"Do you know his number?"
"Nope, I would look it up in the phone book"

At this point I am feeling very likely to die if I ever get hurt around my kids, so I call Anakin down to see what he would do...

"Anakin, What would you do if you found mommy laying on the floor and you couldn't get me to wake up?".
"I would scream really loud in your ear"...again with the screaming...
"And if that didn't work and I still didn't move?"
"I would jump on your head" (I will never survive if I get hurt around my kids)
"And if that didn't work"
"I would go play, cause nothing would wake you up if that didn't"
"But what if I was hurt and that's why I wouldn't wake up?"
"Oh...I would call dad"
"Do you know his number?"
"Nope" and this point Stasia chimes in with "we can look it up in the phonebook"
Anakin just looks at her and says "you don't even know how to read"
To me he says "I would call Mamaw"
"Do you know her phone number??"
"Yes"

Well at least this is something but not quite what I was looking for. So I keep digging deeper.

"Do you know how to call the Police"
"oh yes, 911" they BOTH say at once.
"well don't you think if mommy was really hurt and couldn't wake up that you should call them??"
Anakin's eyes grew huge and he said "We can do that??"
"Yes, if mommy was really hurt bad and couldn't wake up"

We now have our address and phone number hanging on the refrigerator in case of an emergency. The kids both know this information, but Anakin wanted in to the fridge because he knows he will forget if he had to talk to the police.

Oh and I made sure to tell them, NEVER EVER jump on my head!

What would your kids do??

My Bug

2008-03-02T19:31:00.000-08:00

Sorsha's birthday was today. My little bug is now 2 years old!!

It was a Blue's Clues themed party. Complete with a game of blue's clues, with our very own Steve (Gabe) leading the kids around house, searching for clues.
She opened her presents with such great delight! She screamed with joy as she saw what each present was. When she opened her tea party set, the first thing she did was look right at Ben and say "look Ben". We don't know why he was the one she thought of when she saw a tea party set but it was too funny! Next she opened a baby doll from West and Charlene. She squealed and kept saying "open!open!" It was so funny to watch her force feed the bottle to the baby. It is miracle Elle has survived living with that girl.

Jada has a few pics posted on her blog. I will post some more when I get them.

Happy Birthday My Sorsha Bug!!
You are the sunshine of my world!!

Stasia

2008-03-02T19:04:00.000-08:00

Last Sunday was Stasia's birthday. She turned 7. I can't believe how fast she is growing up.
She had a wonderful sleepover party Friday night. She invited 3 of her cousins and 3 friends to stay the night. They played with barbies, put on a concert for Melissa and I, watched princess movies, and stayed up talking and giggling into the late hours of the night.
Saturday night, I took her on a girly shopping trip, just the 2 of us.
We picked out earrings and spent her birthday money on a few small toys. She told me it was the best night ever. (yes, it made me tear up)

Happy Birthday My Princess!
I love you more than words can say!!

Weepy

2008-02-28T20:10:00.000-08:00

I don't know what my deal is, but all day long I have felt so gosh darn weepy. I have teared up so many times today, it isn't even funny!
I don't cry much if I can help it, I hate crying! But the smallest things have made tears suddenly pop in my eyes. Everything from Grandparents to babies, songs, commercials, memories, anything at all...nothing is safe around me.

So I am signing off to go to bed before this post makes me cry...sheesh.

Hopefully tomorrow will be less of weepy day for me :)

My Sorsha Bug

2008-02-27T07:36:00.000-08:00

"There is just something about that girl". I hear this about Sorsha everywhere I go.
Gabe and I even say it. She has our hearts wrapped around that cute little finger of hers. I love all my kids. But Sorsha is my only "mamma's girl". All the kids liked me until they were 6 months old. After that, they only had eyes for their daddy.
But along with "something" special she has, there is also this other side of her.

Like this morning...I am melting caramels to drizzle over my brownies. All is going fine until the older kids start getting crazy. So I turn off the microwave and go check on them. A few minutes later I return to the kitchen to find that Sorsha has decided to "help" me. Smoke is pouring out of the microwave...She had turned it on!!!
The caramels had burned through the bowl and the smell in my house is awful!!!
Needless to say, my brownies are going caramel-less.

There really is just something about that girl! *sigh*

Warning: Random Post Ahead

2008-02-21T08:07:00.000-08:00

I hate winter! I really do!
I am a stay at mom who hates being snowed (or iced) in. I get cabin fever just watching the ice stick to the ground. I feel trapped!
Summer, please hurry!!

Stasia is so excited about her sleepover, I hope the weather doesn't change her plans. She will be crushed!

Anakin also has big plans tomorrow. He is staying the night with his best friend, Eli. He has talked of nothing else all week!

I am looking forward to hanging out with my very dear friend Melissa! I always enjoy our visits and we are long over due for one!

Gabe and I have so many home repair projects we need to do. We have bought all the stuff but the weather isn't working with us. My house has boxes EVERYWHERE!

We are changing Gabe's sound studio into our bedroom. Sorsha and Elle will move into our old room. Gabe's office will be more of a family office.

I bought Anakin and Stasia loft beds for their rooms. It will really help them have more space in their rooms.

Right now, every room has at least 2 main functions.
The kitchen is my kitchen/dining room/school room.
The living room is Sorsha's play room/Elle's bedroom/my office/family room.
Stasia has to share her room with Sorsha's bed (Sorsha ends up sleeping with me, no matter where she starts off).

Everything & everyone is so crowded. It will be so nice to have everyone seperated alittle bit more.

Well that is all for my random post! I need to get back to working on my projects!

For Gabe

2008-02-20T06:07:00.000-08:00

Why I Love You

You make me smile

You take care of me

You are a great dad

You smile at me when I act silly

You hold me when I cry

You kiss away my bad dreams

You are my Prince (not so) Charming

You make me laugh

You spoil me

You make me feel safe

You tell me when I am wrong

Your hugs are the best in the world

You gave me your heart

You married me (twice)

You love me

You are the one I want to grow old with

You've made my dreams come true

I love you~Always & Forever!!

Matthews Look-alike Meter

2008-02-19T12:42:00.001-08:00

MyHeritage: Look-alike Meter - Free genealogy - Free family websites

Matthews Look-alike Meter

2008-02-19T12:40:00.001-08:00

MyHeritage: Family tree - Genealogy - Celebrity - Collage - Morph

Matthews Look-alike Meter

2008-02-19T12:32:00.001-08:00

MyHeritage: Look-alike Meter - Family search - Family websites

Matthews Look-alike Meter

2008-02-19T12:29:00.001-08:00

MyHeritage: Family tree - Genealogy - Celebrity - Collage - Morph

Delurking

2008-02-19T09:18:00.000-08:00

from my own blog :)

I have been MIA for awhile now because life has been crazy!

So much has happened and I just haven't wanted to blog/talk about it.
To sum up...

I went to see my docotor a few months ago and he put me on 2 different stress meds to help me cope with everyday life.

The very next day, crisis #5 hit and hit hard.

Then there has been a personal issue I have had to carry for almost 9 months ( NO I AM NOT PREGNANT!!) I have lost my best friend. No, she didn't die. I just don't have her anymore and I have been very lost and lonely.

A million other things have been attacking me but I just don't want to go there...

So in other news...

Stasia is having a birthday sleepover Friday night. She is having 6 friends over, Gabe and Anakin are running away. Melissa offered to stay with me and help me with a house of girls for the night. Thank you Melissa, you are a life saver!!

Sorsha will be 2 yrs old in a few weeks and oh how you can tell!! She is whirlwind of attitude/activity/personality/charm. You can't be bored when she around, but you can be drained of anything even looking like energy.

Elle is 10 months old today. Time is flying by with that girl. She can crawl like a pro,stand up, wave and she says momma, dadda and baba (no clue if that is bye or bottle). She blows razzberries, plays peek-a-boo, and claps. She loves her daddy more than anyone and it is too cute to see the things she will do to get his attention.

School is going well with the kids, but I am ready for summer :)

It Is Morning...

2008-01-31T19:33:00.000-08:00

I'm trading my sorrows
I'm trading my shame
I'm laying them down
For the joy of the Lord

I'm trading my sickness
I'm trading my pain
I'm laying them down
For the joy of the Lord

Yes Lord yes Lord
Yes yes Lord Amen

I am pressed but not crushed
Persecuted not abandoned
Struck down but not destroyed
I am blessed beyond the curse
For His promise will endure
That His joy's gonna be my strength

Though the sorrow may last for the night
His joy comes with the morning

Bring Your Own Fruit

2007-11-27T10:12:00.000-08:00

I can't sing, I know this and so does anyone else who hears me. Except my kids. They love when I sing. This morning I was singing a song to my kids and when I was done, Stasia told me it was beautiful and Anakin said I should sing it up on stage at church,(have no fear, this will NOT happen:) Then he says, "We just won't let anyone bring fruit to throw at you"

I love my kids!!

I've Been...

2007-10-19T09:54:00.000-07:00

TAGGED...
by Heidi...

Jobs I've had:
1. Deli girl at Buy-low
2. Waiter at the Tea Room
3. Sandwich artist
4. Mom, teacher and daycare assistant

Places I have lived:
1. Chandler
2. Boonville
3. yeah...
4. that's it

Food I love:
1. Italian Food
2. Mexican food
3. Chinese food
4. Deserts

Websites I visit daily:
1. Yahoo for my mail
2. blogs
3. my bank
4. family fun

Places I'd rather be:
1. BED
2. a warm sunny beach
3. shopping for non-prego clothes
4. BED

Movies I love :
1. Anne of Green Gables/Avonlea
2. Lord Of the Rings
3. The Cutting Edge
4. Harry Potter (all of them) (and about a million more :)

TV shows I watch:

1. House
2. CSI (the original)
3. Dirty Jobs
4. Myth Busters

I tag...
Melissa
Cathy
Tina

I've Been Tagged

2007-10-09T06:58:00.000-07:00

By Staci...

Q. Are you Single, Taken, or Flirty?
A. Taken

Q. Are you happy with that?
A. 100%

Q. Do you believe that there are certain circumstances where cheating is OK?
A. No

Q. Have you ever talked about marriage with another person (besides your spouse)?
A. Nope

Q. Would you consider adoption?
A. Yeah

Q. If someone liked you right now, would you want them to tell you?
A. nope

Q. Do you want someone you can't have?
A. Nope

Q. Do you believe in celebrating anniversaries?
A. Yes

Q. Do you believe that you can change for someone?
A. Yes

Q. Have you ever broken a heart before?
A. Probably

Q. What is your salad dressing of choice?
A. Olive Garden

Q. On average, what size tip do you leave at a restaurant?
A. 15%

Q. What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of?
A. Pizza

Q. What do you like to put on your toast?
A: butter, sugar & Cinnamon

Q. What is your wallpaper on your computer?
A: A picture of me and my girls

Q. Are you right-handed or left-handed?
A. Right

Q. Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
A. I gave birth to 4 kids, I don't know if that counts as removing..

Q. Have you ever been knocked unconscious?
A. Yes

Q. If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
A. maybe

Q. If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
A. I don't know...I like my name

Q. What color do you think looks best on you?
A. Black or pink

Q. Have you ever saved someone's life?
A. nope

Q. Has someone ever saved yours?
A. God

Q. Would you never blog again for $50,000?
A. Yes

Q: Is Napoleon Dynamite actually a good movie?
A: it is stupid but good

Q: Do you have hardwood or carpet in your house?
A: Carpet

Q: Last time you had a run-in with the cops?
A. never

Q. Where is the first place you went this morning?
A: mom's house

Q: What can you not wait to do?
A: Buy some post prego clothes (I don't remember the last time I bought clothes that weren't maternity) and Go on a date with my hubby

Q: What's the last movie you saw?
A: Veggie Tales

Q: Do you smile often?
A: Yes

Q: Are you a friendly person?
A: Yeah, I think so

I tag...Jada

Slide Shows

2007-10-08T07:07:00.001-07:00

I have 3 slideshows that I made in honor of my Birthday Boy but due to techincal difficuties I can not get them to post...grrr

Love At First Sight

2007-10-08T05:55:00.000-07:00

Normally I don’t believe in “love at first sight” but it happened to me eight years ago….

It all started a month after Gabe and I were married. When I found out I was pregnant I was alittle less than thrilled.

I had a very rough pregnancy with morning sickness 24/7 all 9 months.

The first time I felt him move, I was truly convinced there was an alien in my stomach about to burst out. (long story but 100% true)

I went into pre-term labor at 6 months. The doctor put me on medicine to stop the labor but I had contractions daily for the next 3 months. I was on bed rest a lot.

Finally I hit 36 weeks and they said they would no longer stop my labor, I thought the end was in sight. I then discovered I had dysfunctional labor. My body would start to have contractions; they would get stronger and closer together and then several hours later, they would stop.

I was frustrated; I just wanted to meet this booger who had caused me so much trouble. 11 days before my due date, I started having contractions… again.

24 hours and 45 minutes later, Anakin was born. I had him natural (no drugs). The epidural they gave me didn’t take affect so I was able to experience the whole thing, lucky me :)

Gabe knew he was in trouble the moment Anakin was born and I looked up at him and said “That wasn’t too bad…I could do that again”

I fell in love with my little man the moment I saw him. I never knew how deeply you could love someone you just met until that moment.

Anakin has brought me so much joy over the last 8 years. My heart melts every time he gives me a hug or kisses or curls up next to me on the couch or reaches over to hold my hand as we are walking down the street. Sometimes when I look at him, I still see the little baby they placed in my arms so many years ago.

I thank God He trusted me enough to give me such a precious gift

Happy Birthday My Little Man!!

Gabe...what more can I say?

2007-10-04T10:44:00.001-07:00

Last year my husband won the Q Excellence Award in his company. this is an award given for outstanding achievements made by the employee. They gave out 10 of these awards last year. These are pictures of the ceremony.

The first one is of Gabe shaking hands with the President of the company.

The second one is of a some of the other award winners.

Now my husband has one goal...to never have a serious picture taken of himself. I am sure that after you look at these pictures you can see for yourself that he is achieving this goal so far :)

Stasia

2007-10-04T10:19:00.000-07:00

had her baby root-canal and crown done yesterday. She did so well!! The medicine they put her on took the spazz right out of her. She discovered a fresh supply of her spazz after she had a very good nap. She only complained of it hurting aliitle bit once. When she saw it in the mirror she wasn't too sure she liked it so I told her it was a princess crown for her teeth. She has been fine with it ever since :)

Anakin

2007-10-02T08:35:00.000-07:00

had his 4 bottom teeth pulled this morning. He did great!!
He liked the numb feeling, he told me that his chin was asleep. Then he made me feel it so I too could see how funny it felt :)

A post full of randomness

2007-09-24T17:19:00.001-07:00

The Weekend
This weekend was pretty nice all the way around. Gabe wanted to go for a walk Saturday so we put Sorsha and Gabrielle in strollers, Stasia on her bike, Anakin on his scooter, Gabe and I on foot and set out for our walk. We walked to Mom and Dad's house. I probably won't be making such an adventurous trip again any time soon. I am not in the best shape (which probably means I should do it more)and that just about tortured me. Not too mention the stress of watching the kids along some pretty busy streets :) The kids did great, I was very proud of Anakin and Stasia!! Sorsha and Gabrielle didn't get fussy or restless once.

I went to Penny's baby shower and it was so cute. I am so very excited to see how God has blessed them. It is just so awesome to see her glowing with her pregnancy :)

A Mouthful Of Problems
Anakin and Stasia both have a rough week awaiting them next week. Anakin has to have 4 of his bottom teeth pulled out. His permanent teeth are coming in and his baby teeth aren't loose at all. Stasia has to have a baby root canal and a crown on one tooth and a filling on another.

Other news
My baby said Mama for the first time last week! I am so thrilled. Anakin and Stasia both said Dada first but Sorsha and Gabrielle both have said Mama first. I feel so special :)
Gabrielle is growing up too fast. She has discovered her hands and feet and plays with them all the time. She bonks herself in the head with toys, coos, squeals and blows raspberries. She also gives kisses and holds up her arms when you walk by her.
Sorsha is also growing up too fast. I can't keep up with all the things she does and says. She is such a joy to our family. She is still giving me a rough time at night though.
And as seems to be the theme lately...Gabe is gone for the week again. He left this morning and will be home Thursday night.

And that sums up my random post of news & happiness :)

TGIF

2007-09-07T06:12:00.000-07:00

What a whirlwind of a week!!

The girls had their Well Baby visits last week. Sorsha weighs 20lbs and is doing great! She is advanced in her physical development and very advanced in her social development. For everything else, she is right on target!
Gabrielle weighs 13lbs and is 24in long. She is right on target for everything. She doesn't do anything early or late, just right when she is supposed to.
2 months ago, the doctor didn't like the size, location, or color of Gabrielle's birthmark so he said he was going to look into by her next visit and we might talk about surgery. 2 weeks ago the top of her birthmark has turned from black to gray. Our doctor was very glad to see this! He said this is a very good sign and it should start to collapse on itself and flatten out. He was very surprised to see it had turned gray so soon, normally he doesn't see that happen until the child is 2 years old. I wasn't surprised, there were too many people praying for it to not flatten out early :) I am so thankful she doesn't have to look at having surgery!!

Elle has finally started sleeping through the night, and now Sorsha doesn't. Any suggestions on how to get a 18 month old to sleep through the night?? We moved Sorsha to a toddler bed so now she can get up whenever she wakes up. We have put the baby gate up in front of her door to keep her in her room, but she climbed over the gate...the girl drives me crazy!!

Sometime this month, Gabe will have to go back up to Wisconsin for a week. I am not looking forward to him being gone again :(

We started school this week and so far, it has gone great! I was very worried how it was going to go this year now that I have 2 little ones to work around. I feel much better after this first week. I can take Anakin and Stasia with me when I work at the clinic Thursday,it just works out so well. I love having my kids with me and being able to watch them as they are learning new things. Of course there are the days when I think it would be nice if I just had to worry about the 2 littles while the older 2 would be in school. Then I always think of all the things I would miss out on if they were gone all day.

Well I think this post is almost too long now so I will stop :)

PS...totally random note: only my first 3 kids names show up as misspelled words...what other way would I spell them??